Take it slow…

This time we’ll take it slow…

Last night, you asked me about your freedom…

You told me that nasasayangan ka skin kung sa banding huli… sayo ako mapupunta..

Nsasayangan ka kc, alam mong mas magiging masaya ako sa isang guy… at

Ndi ako itatakwil ng mga magulang ko kung lalaki ang ihaharap ko skinla…

So, you said… you  wanted to be free…

But, hey! Wait a minute…

Diba dpat, ako ang magdecide nyan para sa sarili ko?!

Diba dpat, ako ang mas makaalam ng kung ano at kanino ako masaya o sasaya…?!

Teka lang nman…

Wag mo nman sana akong unahan…

Mahal kita… at totoo na takot akong mawala ka kung kelan mahal na mahal na kita…

Natatakot ako, na bka kung kelan handa na akong ipakilala ka… ikaw naman ang umayaw…

Alam kong may mga ksalanan din ako… pero, enough ba ung rason na un para

Ialok mo at hingin ang kalayaan mo?!

Khit alam kong npakalaki ng posibilidad na masasaktan ako pgdating ng araw…

Gusto kong malaman mo… na  OK lang na maramdaman ko ang skit...

MASAYA naman AKO…

Masaya ako sayo…

Masaya ako khit indi perpekto ang relasyong meron tayo…

Masaya ako… khit nagaaway… nagbabati at nagkakatampuhan tayo…

Masaya ako… khit walang kasiguraduhan ang pagmamahal na nararamdaman…

Masaya ako… khit na masaktan ako...

Kahit na masaktan mo ako…

Kung gusto mo pa rin ang kalayaan mo pgkatpos ng ilang espasyo…

Khit masakit…

Siguro nga, kelangan ko  na un ibigay sau… L

Mahal kita… Mahal na mahal kita…

At bago man pumikit ang mga mata ko sa pgtulog…

Alam kong ikaw pa rin ang gusto kong mkasama sa buhay ko…

I know this is not the right time to rant… but, puhleeasee!... just allow me to let this out of my chest…

Okay…

I received a call from my cuzn in dubai… he’s only 12 I think… and told me that, he already saw my ex-gf (CARL) at Friendster… so, I was thinking… Ohh… seems like we’re being talked about… and then he said… “Ate, Bad ka… Magagalit sau si Jesus! Magbati na kc kau ni kuya Carl!”… and I was like…DUH?! Yan ba ung way mo ng pagbati skin ng Merry Christmas?!...

…and then, the phone got snatched by one of my closest cousins… and she asked… “Is it true?!.. Sbi nila dito, Best Friends lang sila… Khit ng-kiss sila.. Friendly Kiss lang daw un!”… and then my next reaction was…. SHET! WTF was that?!

…I was suddenly dumbfounded… Here I am, protecting my cousin of her “innocence”, and yet, it seems like now… they’re making me feel like its my fault!  And that Im so stupid to make the issue such a big deal… just because carl is my exgf and i dont want her to bfriend my cuzn?! y, kc ngseselos ako?! Dats B...sht!! NO!

but, IT IS A BIG DEAL!!!

…Straight from Carl’s mouth… I heard the words.. “Oo… muntik ng may mangyari samin… My hands were all over her… Ur cousin’s a major flirt… We kissed lips to lips for more than 5 seconds… she’s my crush, and she’s giving me hints, so I grabbed them…”…. I mean…. Footah naman!... ndi ko nman kayang tanggapin pa un…L  I know its over between us (Carl nd I)… but, I begged her to stay away from my cousin (my cuzn is 14 and carl is 27)… as in, I literally got down on my knees… I cried infront of her just to let my cuzn be… she said she would, but obviously she didn’t… she didn’t even think of my feelings… and im just so hurt… soo hurt dat I don’t want her to be my friend anymore… and cud they blame me for that?!...

…Now… I wanted to know wat really happened… but I want to hear it this time from my cousin’s mouth… I have a lot of questions that I want to be answered… yet, im afraid that it could adversely affect my relationship with her, and vice versa… Hey, if they thought that im a big hindrance to their “friendship”, then, I’ll let them do what they want… but they have to listen first to what I’ll be saying… Footah! BASTUSAN to eh!

…Christmas day is her birthday… and I don’t want to spoil her day en all… New Year is coming up… and   I don’t know if we can talk privately since a lot of our families are coming and celebrating…

I DONT KNOW IF ITS STILL WORTH ASKING THE TRUTH TO MY CUZN… I WANNA KNOW WAT REALLY HAPPENED… I wanna know kung sino tlaga ung nagsasabi ng totoo... coz, im NOT the bad guy here… so, I don’t want to be branded as such… especially since, iv kept my silence for quite a while now… Hayyy!

SHETNESS...

Ang tagal na ng previous entry ko ah.... pasensya na po... medyo busy-busyhan lang ng konti.... medyo, knarir ko rin ang pananahimik... hehehe!

... Isa sa mga gusto kong pasko, ang pasko nten ngaun... ung mga dahilan... bibitinin ko muna... hehe... pero,,, ang isa sa mga dahilan eh... MAY TRABAHO NA KO! hehe! part time lang po... pero, aus na un... atleast may panggastos ngaung pasko dba?! hehehe!

... Miss ko na kaung lahat... and Advance Happy Christmas to all!!!

sa lahat ng kaguluhang nangyayari....

      sa lahat ng mga hinanakit...

           sa lahat ng mga salitang ayoko ng marinig...

TATAHIMIK NLANG AKO...

          ...tatahimik ako, ndi dhil tinanggap ko na talo ako...

         ... ayoko lang na masira pa ng tuluyan ang pagkakaibigang meron tau...

         .... ndi rin ibig sbihin, ndi na ko pwedeng makinig sau...

          ... andito pa rin nman ako, ngpapalamig lang ng ulo...

               ATTENTION:

To ALL FLIRTS...

GET A LIFE!!!

kilala mo kung sino ka... and i hate u for being a MAJOR FLIRT!!!

... utang na loob, 27 ka na...

tantanan mo ang pgppacute sa 13 years old kong pinsan!...

i know how u lure people, so...

LEAVE MY COUSIN ALONE!!!

*bato bato sa langit ang tamaan... MALANDI!!!